i have a total MANcrush on that guy in those MEggings and the GUYliner that’s eating a MANyogurt and probably washes himself with a MANwasher don’t forget i am a MAN haha total DUDE right here being so MANsecure about my MANsculinity i have to add the word MAN into everything i say to remind you
calling people on the phone is more stressful than open heart surgery
ok but a slytherin student from some hoity-toity pureblood family becoming ridiculously infatuated with muggle culture
and they just approach some muggleborn gryffindor who’s immediately on guard and waiting for some kind of insult but then the pureblood pulls a fucking nokia flip phone out of their robes and says “ALRIGHT, HOW DO YOU GET THIS TO WORK. I’VE BEEN PRESSING ON THE BUTTONS FOR THE PAST HOUR AND IT HASN’T DONE ANYTHING”
(it needs to be charged)
Fun shark attack facts:
- In 1996, toilets injured 43,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
- In 1996, 2,600 Americans were injured by room fresheners. Sharks injured 13.
- In 1996, buckets and pails injured almost 11,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
- For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks.
- Humans are assholes.
- Sharks are not assholes.
- Apparently everyone in 1996 lived in a real-life infomercial.